Hi Reader,

Yesterday, I took the afternoon off and went to the local public library, just to write in my journal and do… nothing.

Lately, I’ve been struggling with motivation. Most days feel like a constant tug-of-war with focus, a sense of being lost, or questioning whether my work even matters. There’s always so much I want to do, learn, and create - but my brain sometimes just refuses to cooperate. Maybe you’ve had days like that too.

To be fair, there are some big personal changes happening in my life (I’ll share more in another email), which probably play a role. And the whirlwind of overwhelming developments in the (tech) world isn’t helping.

Still, I wanted to share a few recent realizations. Warning: a bit of a personal rant ahead 😉.

There’s no high without the low

At first, I panicked. I asked myself, “What’s wrong with me?”

But as I sat with that question, I realized these low-energy, low-motivation phases aren’t new. They’ve come and gone before.

Every now and then, I have phases where I feel the urge to slow down - to pause, reflect, and reinvent who I'm becoming. You know, I'm blessed (and cursed) with an "analyst's brain", which also means I tend to overanalyze a lot! 🥲

But before we rush to label feeling low-energy or unmotivated as something “bad,” the truth is this: there’s no high without the low.

It reminded me of the concept of duality in Buddhism - how everything exists in contrast to something else. Therefore, "good" and "bad" are all relative.

Inspiration from an unexpected place

While I was searching outside for inspiration or some solution to "fix myself", I forgot one place I hadn’t looked: my past self.

I tend to downplay what I’ve already done and how much others have appreciated my work. But when I looked back at some of my older work - my old challenging projects, my YouTube videos (yes, I still cringe watching myself!) and kind comments from viewers, my old study notes and so on, I was surprised to find inspiration!

I saw the effort, the struggles, the thought my past self poured into whatever it was. I felt a wave of gratitude for everything I’ve done that’s brought me to where I am now.

Who am I to judge?

Sometimes I also let the critical voice in my head drown out my curiosity and enthusiasm: “You’re not good enough,” “This is pointless,” “No one’s going to care about/ watch/ read this.”

But if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this: those voices are absolutely ego-driven, and probably not even true (reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle has helped me understand this on a deeper level.)

And how sad it would be if I let them stop me from making things that excite me and might help someone else!

When I first started making YouTube videos, I told myself: if even one person finds this helpful, I’ve already succeeded. And if others don’t find it useful - so what? Who am I to decide what’s helpful for someone else?

So, if you’re trying to learn something or build something and it feels pointless sometimes, I hope this reminds you to keep going 🙌.

Wishing you a restful, and great weekend,

Thu

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